bon voyage



white girls can’t wear bindis because in sixth grade one time i was dropped off at school by my aunt who was wearing a bindi at the time and some girl’s mom whispered to her friend how she would never let her daughter play with me because my family had probably been happy about 9/11 and then four years later that daughter showed up to school wearing a bindi as part of her “”“boho”“” look

fight me

I love Henry a lot though so that’s good

Today is just not a day where life feels good

Disclaimer: this is just me complaining about things that don’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things and so please ignore

Stressful things:

I have had plans to go home this weekend since February to see a concert that I was really looking forward to and then I found out I had a mandatory EAP orientation at 5 on Friday night and when I emailed to see (really really nicely) if there was anyway I could miss it the lady wrote back a super mean email assuming I was lying and trying to go to coachella. And that means we can’t drive up with everybody else and I have been trying so hard to find a ride and the guy from Craigslist fell through and now we are trying to rent a car which is hella fuckin expensive and idk if we are even allowed to and I really just want to go home but getting there is just so stressful.

I’m behind on reading in every single one of my classes which is not something I do, ever, and it’s because of Nexus and I know I quit this week but I’m behind to the point where catching up is going to be really hard and I just spent like 5 hours working on an article when I could have been doing homework and I really want to do well in my classes but it’s going so fast already.

There have been so many stressful money things this month and if don’t even have enough money right now for groceries let alone my computer charger or fixing my phone and I don’t understand where my money is going because I haven’t bought anything but food this month and I haven’t even bought that much food I have been eating as little as possible.

And because my computer charger is broken and nobody has the same charger as me it is really hard to stay up to date with classes and EAP deadlines and other stuff and I just feel so disorganized and disheveled and non functional.

And this whole sexual assault thing that happened is really demoralizing since it was a person I admired who did it and even though I am absolutely committed to doing the right thing I’m ashamed to say that getting involve with the nexus is really scary.

I have just felt stressed every single day since I’ve been back from spring break and even before that and I just want to crawl away from the world and hide.